Baffle them with BS

Everything has a private language and specific nomenclature. It can be a business, a hobby or a field of study; it doesn’t matter. The more we are interested, the more we want to familiarize ourselves with the terms; knowing the correct terminology makes us think we know more about the subject. You were taught dog in the first grade, but now that you love dogs you understand that Spot is actually a Cocker Spaniel. He is a specific type of dog that has a specific name.

Actually a Cocker Spaniel is a Canis Lupus Familiaris, but exactly who is going to say that? Not me! I don’t pretend to know very many scientific names, but I love dogs and I swear I knew that one. But if I did choose to use this term I would probably be ignored. I would be thought of as a smart ass for one, but I would also limit my audience; nobody would know what I was talking about. So unless I was either trying to impress someone or alienate myself why would I ever use this term? How about because I was trying to sell you something?

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I received an invitation for a free meal at a nice local restaurant. Of course we would have to agree to listen to a short sales pitch during (and after) the meal, but she wanted to go and honestly I couldn’t think of a good reason to tell her no. My wife was nice enough not to mention that it really wouldn’t be much different for her since she was accustomed to listening to my crap during meals anyway, so I agreed to go. She didn’t tell me until a few days before we were supposed to go exactly what the sales pitch was about; “New and cutting edge products that will slash your energy bills”. Somebody in the reservation department is not asking the correct questions!

I don’t pretend to know everything there is about saving energy, but over the last two years I have had some pretty intense training on the subject. I have learned quite a bit about what works and what does not; what makes financial sense and what does not. I could only imagine what this company was going to try to sell us, but I agreed to be good during the sales presentation and to consider myself (as my wife described me) a spy! “You’re mission, should you choose to accept it…” Sounds like fun.

Well the products offered were not exactly new, and the only edges they cut had happened years ago. Several of the items would probably save you a little money, but they would save even more if they were installed correctly and not the way the salesman was describing. His numbers were inflated and his pleas for saving the planet were a little over the top, but the food was very good and I was behaving. I had decided that everything would be okay, and then he told a big lie. He used some very specific nomenclature to try to quiet my concerns, and when I responded with a battery of equally specific terms questioning his statements, he quickly changed the subject and moved on to another topic.

I let him off the hook and managed (for the most part) to keep my mouth shut. But what I could not manage to do was see him in any other light than for what he really was; he was a criminal. He lied to every person in the room to make a dollar. When he got caught he tried to baffle the room with technical bullshit! The part that angered me most was that if he had simply told the truth about the products he was trying to sell they would have (at some price) been worth purchasing! The products will never perform to the levels he professed, and by making these exaggerated and inflated statements he did the buyers and the real world of energy conservation harm. I can’t speak for the rest of the room, but let’s just say that I seriously doubt that anyone sitting at my table bought anything from him!